Sigrid
@sthea
Active 2 years, 12 months ago
Good morning to all of us who lost a beloved pet. I wanted to tell you about an idea that I had for helping me with grief. I am still grieving about losing my two sweet cats, Tim and Lulu last year. What affected me even harder was the loss of my mother just when the pandemic started and I could not fly over there to be with her. With the help of therapy and good friends I have come to realize that she will always be with me, right there in my heart. But often I feel myself missing the physical part, being able to hug her. One sleepless night I had an idea: I have a little pillow that she gave me and I knew that you can transfer photos on fabric. So I had one of my favorite photos of her put on fabric (I found the service on Etsy, I can post the link if you are interested) and sewed it on the pillow case. Now when I need a little more than memories I hug the pillow and think of her. Definitely nothing like the real thing but it helps a little. We can do the same with the pets we lost and grieve: every little bit helps, I think. View
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Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago
Rebecca, what a beautiful picture of Toby Ryan! And I am so sorry you lost him. I love it that the community is working: people who know what you are going through chiming in and letting you know you are not alone in your grief. It doesn’t bring anybody back but the pain of grief is so much harder to bear when you have to do it all alone. And many people don’t know the strong ties that connect us with our furry friends. Some even belittle or judge your grief. Not here. Please find comfort in this place that is created to hear you and to make space for your grief – AND stories about your beloveds quirks and joys and endearing habits. I love to see the photos that go with the names and I appreciate to get to know about this special friend. I love to read how people go through stages of grief, how they take courage from talking and remembering and being vulnerable by describing the pain and loss. I see that many stay with the community and write about healing and moving on without giving up what was so special about this love. This is a truly good place. -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago
Linda, he looks so sweet – and a bit mischievous. How very sad to loose him so suddenly and under those circumstances! My heart goes out to you. I hope you have shoulders to cry on; there are people here in this community who understand your grief and will listen to what you feel like telling us about him. It does not bring him back but it keeps him alive. In Isabel Allende’s book Eva Luna the mother says to her daughter “People die only when we forget them. If you can remember me, I will be with you always.” I think the same goes for our dogs and cats and other beloved creatures. The task of grieving is to get to where you’re feeling them inside you and are able to take comfort in it, even if they are no longer around physically.
Best wishes to you! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago
Heather, like any good mom you are thinking about his well being first! Imagining him with his brother and free of pain can help you handle the pain and grief of losing him. Take good care of yourself and I hope you can tell us more about Dozer. He’s lucky to have had you and I am sure you feel glad he was with you for a long time. Wishing you well! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago
Hi Wendy, you came to the right place to be with people who understand. I love it when those who are grieving open up and make this connection with others who are in the same situation. You can’t talk your pain away but you at least don’t feel so alone with it. Please tell us why you joined, I would like to know what brought you here. You are among kindred spirits! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago
Hi LaRonda, I love what you say about Harry: first you rescued him and then he rescued you. They do that, don’t they? It is hard to go on without him but he became part of you and that will never go away. He made you into who you are now and he’ll want you to look forward, eventually. Part of grieving is to learn how to feel them inside of you and to accept that while you lost their bodies their soul cannot be taken away from you. And that will give you the strength and courage to love again. You’ll never replace him in your heart but because you are richer than when you were before you met him you will be able to give again. And that’s beautiful. The sadness will never quite go away but the pain will get weaker – and your heart will be bigger. Sending you good wishes! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago
CeeCee looks like she has a little white collar and white paws, how cute. She looks like she has personality and great poise. Please tell us what she was like. I would love to hear about her. Sending good wishes! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago
Maureen, I am glad you were able to see things from a different perspective. I am not religious but I know for sure that talking to Romeo will be good for you and maybe he’ll hear you. Nobody can prove the opposite so you might as well hold on to this comforting thought. And you are right, he would not want you to suffer. As Toni said be kind to yourself and put your love and grief in words and send them to Romeo. Friends hear you, this community hears you, and Romeo may hear you. You love him and he had a good life with you. Not that this is the time to think about that but you’re a good mom and there may be other dogs out there that need you once you are ready. You’ll never be able (nor would you want) to replace him but there is need out there for care and love that you can give just like you did for Romeo. -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago
Maureen, Romeo looks adorable. Great name for him. I am so sorry you lost him. And yes, the trauma of losing him can dredge up old pain and unlived grief. You can dedicate your recovery to him by dealing with what needs to be dealt with. Bring it up, give it space and acknowledge it, hopefully with the help of a good friend or a therapist. I hope I am not overstepping here but I am talking out of my own experience. I know it sounds weird but you can consider it Romeo’s gift to you, getting rid of old aches and pains so you can love again. You are courageous to talk about your pain, that’s the first step, not suppressing your grief. as you did in the past. Your love for Romeo did that! Thank him and honor him by continuing on that path. -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Good wishes to you, Toni! That’s hard. I hope you and Walter will still have many good days together and that he’ll leave peacefully and without pain when the time comes. -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Rachel, I am so sorry you lost Alphonse. The name makes me think he had quite the personality. Did he? I would like to hear how he was. He clearly had your heart. Talking about him, describing him will keep you connected and over time may slowly change from grief to appreciation that you had him in your life. Best wishes to you! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Hi Maryann, it’s Sigrid again. It takes a lot of time to heal. And I was wondering if you could pour the love you have for Penny into some cause that needs it, at a shelter for example or tending to feral cats in your neighborhood. I think in addition to missing Penny you also have no place or being to give your love to. It will not bring her back but you could dedicate your helpful activities to her, to honor her and to be grateful that she was in your life. This is no advice, just something I saw a neighbor do when her cat passed. She now takes good care of the feral cats around here, has them spayed or neutered, feeds them and finds homes for them. They would be lucky to have you. -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Angel, this community is a bit like a shoulder to cry on. We know your pain. Talking about your loss gives a little bit of relief. It can’t take the pain away but you feel less alone with it. At least that’s my experience. I am sending good wishes to you. -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Hi Dorothy, all of us here know the pain of having to let them go. Let us know about Cody or show us a photo if it feels right. Talking about them helps a little bit in my experience. Sending good wishes! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Hi Amy, as Toni says there is no time line for grieving and we all need to do it in a way that works for us. There’s no advice really, I can just tell you what works for me: my cats past and present have a big space in my heart. They are safe there, I don’t need to worry about them and I do believe they are in a good place. I will never loose this feeling even though I can’t touch them anymore. But I can put my hand on my heart and remember how sweet they were and be grateful. I can think of the times when they were especially cute and funny and I feel love. Time will get you there. Sending good wishes! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Hi Maryann, Penny looks like a sweet best friend! I don’t think that we ever “get over” losing someone like that. But thankfully time will help us get more at peace with the fact that they’re gone and make it possible for us to remember without crying all the wonderful times we had, the fun, the quirky things they did and what made them so special. There is a space in my heart just for my cats, all of them, and in that way they are with me forever, safe and sound. -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Kristina, from my own experience I know how that feels. You look for them in places where they used to be and should be. It is amazing how they change the feeling of the whole house. It will take time – I know that’s small comfort but eventually you’ll be able to think of him with more appreciation than grief. You’ll be able to remember all the good stuff you experienced together and will be somewhat at peace with the fact that he’s not there anymore. Good wishes to you and your family! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Welcome, Lauryn! We know your pain and are here for you to listen. Please tell us about Lieu. How did you come to this beautiful name? I am sending good wishes to you! -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Robyn, that is an unusual name – Shogun. And I am sure there comes a story with it. Please tell us! You will find open hearts here to hear about your loss and wish you well. -
Sigrid posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago
Lisa, I would like to hear more about Caylee. I like the name and I am so sorry you had to part with her. Please tell us. Sending you good wishes!
