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  • Profile picture of Maureen

    Maureen posted an update 3 years, 3 months ago

    Hi, I haven\’t commented here since my first one and I was very thankful for your response. Unfortunately, I am still in a bad place over losing my Romeo. I wake up and cry every day. I relive that morning over and over again. I am so depressed and nothing is helping me to climb out of this dark place I\’m in. I hate feeling this way and I\’m trying to get better, but, this trauma has only been bringing out many things from my past that have happened which I have been suppressing for many, many year I still isolate and I don\’t think of the future at all. I just get up and go through the motions of each day and that\’s it. I just wish I could go back in time and hold my boy and kiss him and cuddle him once more, but,I know that\’s not possible.
    I\’m tired of this pain and I wish this was all a dream.
    Thank you for letting me speak about my heartache. 💔
    • Profile picture of Sigrid
      Sigrid replied 3 years, 3 months ago
      Maureen, Romeo looks adorable. Great name for him. I am so sorry you lost him. And yes, the trauma of losing him can dredge up old pain and unlived grief. You can dedicate your recovery to him by dealing with what needs to be dealt with. Bring it up, give it space and acknowledge it, hopefully with the help of a good friend or a therapist. I hope I am not overstepping here but I am talking out of my own experience. I know it sounds weird but you can consider it Romeo’s gift to you, getting rid of old aches and pains so you can love again. You are courageous to talk about your pain, that’s the first step, not suppressing your grief. as you did in the past. Your love for Romeo did that! Thank him and honor him by continuing on that path.
      • Profile picture of Toni Noel
        Toni Noel replied 3 years, 3 months ago
        Maureen, it hasn’t been very long since you so suddenly lost Romeo and it’s understandable that you are grieving still. The pain of parting is deep and unlike any other. I like what Sigrid shared – perhaps there is a gift from Romeo that will allow you to heal even beyond his loss. Thursday you will receive an email with the access to our group support session and I hope we see you there. It may help to talk about Romeo with our caring and understanding friends. Please be kind to yourself Maureen. You were kind and loving for Romeo and deserve the same. {{HUGS}} Toni
        • Profile picture of Maureen
          Maureen replied 3 years, 3 months ago
          I dont know who I am posting this to, but, I hope it gets to both Sigrid and Toni.

          Sigrid, thank you so much for reaching out to me. I am trying my best to work through all of this horrible pain. Romeo was the best boy and I am so lost without him. 💔
          Your advice to me was very helpful and maybe you are right about Romeo sending me a gift. Although, I can’t grasp the idea totally because I dont understand why he would want me to be in such pain. But, I do know he wouldn’t want me to be. I thank you for helping me to see things in a different way. I am so raw right now and want all this heartache to stop. 💔

          Toni Noel, thank you for your kind words to me. I don’t feel like I deserve to be kind to myself because at his last moments, I was in a complete panic. I didnt know Romeo was dying, I thought he was just not feeling well. when I picked him up he cried out and his eyes looked dizzy and he couldnt hold up his little head so I laid him on my bed to comfort him. I was stroking him and talking to him and telling him it’s gonna be okay , but,I think he was already gone. I didn’t know he was dying and I blame myself for not realizing that and try to save him by doing something. I should have done something. I never got the chance to tell him all the things I needed to tell him. It’s all such a nightmare.

          • Profile picture of Toni Noel
            Toni Noel replied 3 years, 3 months ago
            Maureen, we are seeing your messages fine. Our community is based on kindness, sympathy and understanding and any comments are made from a point of sincere concern and the hope we bring some comfort. You experienced a traumatic shock and it is understandable that you are not only grieving, but questioning what happened. Intellectually, we know we don’t have a lot of control over the end of life. We can provide a relief with euthanasia when we know of health issues, but often our pets just come to the end of their given lifetime. Same with humans. From what I’m reading, you did any and everything that could be done for Romeo. He was with you at the end, in the warmth of your love. If you can join our group tonight it may help you to talk with us. If not, please stay engaged with us here. We’re thinking of you. {{HUGS}}. Toni
            • Profile picture of Sigrid
              Sigrid replied 3 years, 3 months ago
              Maureen, I am glad you were able to see things from a different perspective. I am not religious but I know for sure that talking to Romeo will be good for you and maybe he’ll hear you. Nobody can prove the opposite so you might as well hold on to this comforting thought. And you are right, he would not want you to suffer. As Toni said be kind to yourself and put your love and grief in words and send them to Romeo. Friends hear you, this community hears you, and Romeo may hear you. You love him and he had a good life with you. Not that this is the time to think about that but you’re a good mom and there may be other dogs out there that need you once you are ready. You’ll never be able (nor would you want) to replace him but there is need out there for care and love that you can give just like you did for Romeo.
              • Profile picture of Maureen
                Maureen replied 3 years, 3 months ago
                Thank you so much for your kindness.