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  • Profile picture of Maureen

    Maureen posted an update 3 years, 1 month ago

    Hello, I just wanted to stop by and see what was new and how everyone is doing. I would also like to offer my sincere condolences to all here at Faithful Friends.
    I have not been doing well myself. I am still grieving hard and can’t seem to move forward. I think I have figured out why. I feel so comfortable in my grief now and. It is a safe place for me to be where I can never forget my Romeo. I know this is not healthy, but, I feel so bad when I am not thinking of him because I don’t want him to think I’m forgetting him. So, I stay stuck in the loop of reliving his last moments over and over and it brings me to tears. Maybe crying makes me feel good because I am grieving over him and honoring his memory. I can’t let go….I just can’t. My life consists of just getting through each day. Waiting for all of this to end. I have never, ever been this broken in my life and I don’t see an end to it at this time. 💔

    • Profile picture of Brony
      Brony replied 3 years, 1 month ago
      Maureen, I know what you are feeling, I too keep running thru my mind her last moments. Let’s make a pack. You do your best and I’ll do my best. They wouldn’t want us in pain. We have a smile within us, it’s trying. I’ll be strong if you are.
      • Profile picture of Toni Noel
        Toni Noel replied 3 years, 1 month ago
        Maureen, Powerful chemicals are stimulated with our emotions – think of the “fight or flight” syndrome where our bodies secrete tons of adrenaline – similarly, we are awash with chemicals and hormones when elated, in love, or in grief. Tests show a difference in the chemicals found in tears of joy vs. tears of grief. They are powerful, and can be mitigated with deliberate choices to bring forth happy and good memories – “choose joy” – to create more “happy” hormones. And, it can be sort of addicitive bacause your body iliterally has those chemicals in it. An exercise you can try is my “ruler” – think of your time with Romeo in inches with each year = 1 inch. You and Romeo shared 14 years (inches) of joy, fun and love, and just a fraction at the end was bad. Now, each day spend time in one of the first 13 inches. Allow yourself to be happy, at least for awhile each day, throughout the day. Romeo would tell you that, don’t you think? That way you are not forgetting him, but are honoring his life with you. You will never forget him, so please don’t let that stand in your way of remembering him with joy. You see you are not alone and that our caring community is sharing your grief and theirs, and I hope some helpful ideas to help you heal guilt-free, knowing that being happy for the life you and Romeo shared is a tribute, and not “forgetting”. Quite the opposite. I’m sending you a {BIG HUG} and looking forward to hearing more from you. Your words of support to others is so very kind, and appreciated by all. Hopefully you find some comfort in sharing your understanding with others. Toni
        • Profile picture of Maureen
          Maureen replied 3 years, 1 month ago
          Brony, I will try because I know they would want us to be happy. Thank you for your kind words. Sending you hugs 🫂
          • Profile picture of Maureen
            Maureen replied 3 years, 1 month ago
            Toni, thank you for your response and your guidance. I do remember happy things about Romeo each and every day. I have no problem doing that. However, I am having difficulty with remembering the things we did together without crying. His absence from my home is the hardest and I cannot walk anywhere in my community because he isn’t with me anymore. Everywhere and everything reminds me that he is gone. I dont want to be here anymore because of those constant reminders, but, I just cant pick up and move. Besides, I dont think I could move out of my home and leave Romeo’s energy behind.
            My whole existence revolved around him and it is just too painful to face those memories. I understand what you’re saying about feelings being addictive and I might be addicted to feeling sad right now because it makes me feel loyal to Romeo’s memory. I know it’s not good to stay in the past with those last moments of Romeo’s life, but, I am trying to come to terms with that.
            I know time will help. But, it’s just not now.
            I thank you and everyone here for your caring comments. I really, really do appreciate them.
            Maureen
            • Profile picture of Sigrid
              Sigrid replied 3 years, 1 month ago
              Brony and Maureen, I love this, you making a pact because Lulu and Romeo would have wanted you to be happy and go on living good lives. They are safe and sound in your hearts and they are waiting for you to be able to feel that. Love to you both!
              • Profile picture of Maureen
                Maureen replied 3 years, 1 month ago
                Hi Sigrid, thank you for your kind response. Brony was nice to suggest we make a pact to be happy and go on living our lives because our babies wouldn’t want us to be unhappy. I wouldn’t ever want my boy to be sad because of me and so I will try my best to do just that. I lived my life for him and his happiness and I hope he died knowing that. Sending love to you, Maureen
                • Profile picture of Sigrid
                  Sigrid replied 3 years, 1 month ago
                  I am sure he did, Maureen! They are generous souls and they want to spread happiness. So glad you and Brony will support each other! Love, Sigrid