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  • Profile picture of Kat

    Kat posted an update 3 years, 5 months ago

    Can someone help me get hold of myself? It\’s almost 2 weeks since I lost Pooh and I can\’t get my heart to stop cracking. I\’ll be fine for a while and BAM! something reminds me of her and my heart feels like it\’s cracking apart. I have her ashes, a VERY NICE canvas of her and I\’m still shaking at times. Has anyone else had this happen to them? I know I\’m being dramatic, but it just hurts and I don\’t want to wallow in hurt. Thank you so much.
    • Profile picture of Toni Noel
      Toni Noel replied 3 years, 5 months ago
      Kat, I hope some of this helps you.
      Grief is like the ocean: it runs deep and flows in waves. Even our tears are salty. Sometimes the ocean is calm and soothing – our memories of our beloved bring us joy and warmth. You never know what will bring on a squall and all you can do is surf the wave until it fades.
      Our kind, caring and understanding community meets online the third Thursday of each month and I hope you can join us. We listen and share and it really helps to talk about our feelings and what we are doing around them. You’ll get an email with the link for March 16th at 7 EST.
      May I suggest you think of your life with Pooh as a timeline – the many good, fun and loving years you shared, and the short period leading up to her passing. There is perspective in that – years of good memories that you can draw upon.
      Another tool is to write a “joy” book about the good times, and bring those to the forefront of your thinking.
      Get out in nature, help a friend or neighbor, perhaps volunteer at a shelter when you’re ready. Talk to family, friends and us – people who care and understand.
      Kat, there is no escaping the pain of your loss, and while it hurts so much to do it, you have to allow yourself to recognize and go through it. You’re not alone, we’re here for you. I will be thinking of you with sympathy and great warmth. {{HUGS}} Toni
      • Profile picture of Kat
        Kat replied 3 years, 5 months ago
        Thank you, Toni, for your kind words. I think of Pooh with only our good times. Her 18mos of gallbladder trouble was just a sickness that needed to be taken care of like diabetes. With a wonderful vet, we had scheduled ultrasounds to keep on top of the condition. I guess I’m having the most trouble with knowing I have no one here to lean on. When my 1st Sheltie passed at 13, my husband was here. When he passed, I had Pooh…for 7 years. She passed and there’s no one at home for me. I have lost my parents, sister and brother, so family is scarce. Pooh was family. Again, thank you and I will be looking forward to the online meeting in March. God Bless youl. Kat
        • Profile picture of Toni Noel
          Toni Noel replied 3 years, 5 months ago
          Oh geez, Kat, you have lost so many – not their love, but their presence. Can you visit with neighbors or friends near you? If not that, is there a shelter you can visit to comfort pets who are in transition to new homes? Herre’s an idea: watch silly or fun movies. Write thoughts that come to you. Reach out to others here in our community who would love to hear from you with your sympathy and understanding. I hope to hear from you each day because I am thinking of you. Toni