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  • Dana posted an update 4 years, 5 months ago

    The 11th of February was 3yrs since I lost my Ladiebug. That was such a hard day, letting her go broke my soul. She had mammary cancer that had spread to her lungs and heart. This made it hard for her to breathe and she’d become lethargic due to her heart. But even so every morning about 5am she’d wake us up for her walk if we weren’t already up. Our walks got shorter and slower at the end, but she still got so excited to go. I knew that the cancer was really starting to affect her, but she stayed this beautiful, happy girl till the end. Her last was spent doing all her favorite things. After her walk I made her a special breakfast of chicken with strawberries, blueberries, cheese and pumpkin. After which she and I shared a bowl of her favorite cereal, Captain Crunch with crunch berries, bite for bite. And of course she finished off the leftover milk. I then took a washcloth and wiped her fur down and gave her a thorough brushing. Then I sat on the floor next to her and gave her a very long, gentle massage from head to tail. Halfway through she leaned over putting her full weight on me with a soft grruufffft escaping as she collapsed into my arms. We layed on her bed and took a nap together for about an hour or so. I wrapped her up in my arms, holding her with my head on her chest I listened to her heartbeating so strong. We spent some time out in the yard where she made her rounds, sniffing everything throughly, as if she knew this was to be her last time doing it. I believe that she knew that it was her last day here with me, in the place she’d come to love. For lunch she had roast beef, cottage cheese and King’s Hawaiian dinner rolls. (She loved all bread, but those were her favorite and I always shared them with her bite for bite) and for dessert she got a big bowl of fresh whipped cream. We cuddled on the couch and watched Homeward Bound, her favorite movie and napped until a few friends and their dogs came by to say goodbye. She was lavished with love and treats, and she played with her dog buddies for the last time. Their play was more subdued and gentle than normal. The vet got to the house in the late afternoon, and Ladiebug and I curled up on her bed while some friends stayed to say their final goodbyes and to be there for me. I layed with her in my arms tightly while the vet inserted the IV, I rested my head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat and I softly sang an Irish lullaby to her as she let go of this life, peacefully crossing the Rainbow Bridge where she waits for me to join her. As I listened to her last heartbeat a part of my soul died with her. I held onto her for almost an hour before finally letting the vet take her for cremation. I didn’t know it then, but she passed on so there would be a place for another dog who just 13days later would desperately need a home to come to. I rescued my current dog from a horrible situation and from being put down because she was “old” and injured due to neglect. Ladiebug lost her battle with cancer, so this new dog could keep her life. I miss my Ladiebug so much, but I’m grateful that I was able to save Grunt-Grunt’s life, and give her the loving home she deserves. As I write this Grunt-Grunt, so named for the quiet grunts she makes when she’s happy, lays curled up next to me snoring softly, like only a Pug can do.

    • Dana, I had to take a day or so to reply to your absolutely moving, heartfelt, loving tribute to Ladiebug. You have a talent for story sharing that is touching and inspirational. There is always pain in parting, but knowing Ladiebug was ready to find peace and relief was a gift back to you, do you think, for the kindness, caring and love you shared. I hope you find it comforting to share with us – we find comfort in knowing others in our community understand and truly care for one another. If you like, your tribute can be part of a lasting Memorial for Ladiebug: https://www.faithfulfriends.com/memorials/
      It’s also so very thoughtful of you Dana, to reach out to others with your kind and caring words of encouragement and sympathy. I am glad you are friend of Faithful Friends, and look forward to hearing more from you, and about Grunt-Grunt :-). {{BIG HUGS}}. Toni
      • Thank you for your kind words. Yes, i believe that her knowing what was happening that day was a gift to me. One that I treasure. Making her last da as special as I could was not only for her, but it was for me. It made what happened easier for me to take. When I lost Bear it was a surprise, I didn’t know that it was coming and couldn’t prepare for it. In fact I still have a problem with the way that day went down. I was working and sent Bear to the vet for the first time without me. My fiance took him. The vet told him that Bear was in excruciating pain and the only option was to put him down. It upset jim so much that he let the vet push him into putting him down right there and then. Before I was notified or was given the chance to say wait at least until I get there. I was told about it after the fact, after he’d been put down. I still harbor ill feelings towards him for this fact. Bear was MY world. The only reason I’m alive today, and I was denied the chance to be there when he passed. Mine was the very first human voice he heard, the first human touch, mine should have been the last!! It haunts me that he might have thought that I didn’t want to be there. That he was afraid and looked for me, wanted my comfort during his worst moment of his life. It was my right and responsibility to be there and I was denied, he was denied me, my touch, my voice. I mean I know that my fiance was there with him through it so he wasn’t alone. But it’s not the same. It tortures me 5yrs later and it hasn’t gotten any easier. It nearly ended my relationship with my fiance. I’m not proud, but when I saw him again I decked him, and I’m not a violent person. But he was lucky that I was on my way to say goodbye to Bear the best that I could when I saw him. Otherwise I’m afraid things might have gotten worse. Tis experience was part of the reason I made sure Ladiebug’s last day was all about her. I didn’t even let him really take part in it until the end. I’ve decided that every time I have to make that decision, and I have to choose the day, their last day will be all about them. No one will ever take that away from me again. And leaving comments for others i just my way of healing myself and hopefully bringing some comfort to someone else who’s in pain. To show support to others doesme good as well. Even though for some reason you are the only one who’s commented on my posts. Maybe it’s because my posts tend to be long winded. I don’t know, but I have to say it has been a little disheartening. But still, posting their stories brings me comfort. Is there some way that I can re-read my earlier posts? Thank you for having this site, and for answering my posts with your kind supportive words. Keep up the good work, you make a difference in our lives.
        • Dana, I’ll answer your question first: Click your name and your entire thread will come up. You can click anyone’s name to do that. You can Search by pet or human name in the Search bar at the upper right of this page to find someone.
          More from me later ๐Ÿ™‚
          • Thank you for the information, I figured it out finally. Went through all my posts, remembering with a smile. Grunt-Grunt sends her love.
            • You are so sweet, Dana ๐Ÿ™‚
              • Dana replied 3 years ago
                Grunt-Grunt passed away almost 7 mo ago. not doing well at all.
                • Dana, I am so sorry for your loss of Grunt- Grunt 😞 Reading your post had me in tears. You went through so much and you did the best for her. I am heartbroken for you. I lost my boy 6 months ago and I am still not doing well, so I understand what you’re going through.
                  Sending you hugs. Peace be with you 😞 💔