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Dana posted an update 5 years, 2 months ago
I’m very sad tonight as I look upon the faces of the last two babies I’ve lost. My Flat coated retriever Bear, (8/26/16) and my blk lab mix Ladiebug (2/11/19). I lost them both to cancer. Bear I had from before he was born and Ladiebug I had 2 mo & 9 days shy of 2 yrs. Each of their passings allowed for me to rescue another dog. With Ladiebug, 13 days after I lost her I learned of a 7 yr old Pug that was going to be put down because she was “too old, and no one will want a dog with a bad eye.” She’d scratched a hole in her corena due to an ear infection neglected for too long. Well now I’m seeing the Pug, Grunt-Grunt, starting to age very fast, her health declining, her back legs starting to give out. I know that her time is coming much sooner than I can accept right now. So I sit and talk to the pictures of Bear and Ladiebug, asking them to be with her when the time comes so she won’t be alone at all. Because I’ll be holding her tightly in my arms here, until she’s crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge. She’s such an amazing dog. Always happy, has this cute little “indoor voice”. So in tune with my emotions. I have been blessed by the fact that all 3 of these babies have been certified service dogs. Bear was seizure and PTSD, Ladiebug was seizure and Grunt-Grunt is PTSD. I will survive, my heart will continue to beat, but I nor my heart will ever be the same. Thank God, as I have become a better person thanks to my dogs. Thanks
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Hello Dana. I am struggling with words for you. Your story is so eloquent, emotional and poignant. Anticipating, preparing for, and experiencing the death of our beloved pet is why we are her for you, Dana. I have no words right now other than these: Grunt-Grunt is cool with with this – it is a part f the life cycle that pets and animals understand and accept better than humans do. Well, some humans do, but mostly, death is a very important part of life and animals know that. The horribly painful part of life is the parting from our loved ones. No one replaces a Grunt-Grunt, or Bear, or Ladiebug…. but boy oh boy, the joy, the fun, the laughs and loves we shared sure make the horrific pain of loss understandable. SO MUCH LOVE is so hard to lose, it hurts so much, and yet, over time, in our own time, the tears are replaced with smiles, and gratitude, and yes, always Love…. Dana dear, let us know what is going on with you…..-
Yes, if I had the choice of skipping my babies, as well as the pain of loosing them, or to have both my babies and the inevitable grief and pain, I’ll take the joy and the pain. I’ve taken to taking Grunt-Grunt outside at about 500-530am and we stay out for about an hour or so. This is our time now, and in the late evening because we live in the desert and it’s already over 100° during the day. My fiance built her a little bed frame with a shade over it and I made the mattress for it so she has a soft comfortable place to lay when we’re outside. She loves it. Next week we are putting in a 4’x4′ patch of grass for the Grunt-Grunt too. This way when she has to potty when it’s hot out she can use the grass and not burn her little feet. She isn’t fond of her booties. Spent the weekend looking up patterns for doggy wheelchairs. Got a couple of ideas, even found the most expensive part, for free. The wheels I found on an oxygen tote. Excited I found them, but saddened too. Her breathing still isn’t quite right, maybe I’m just worrying too much. Bear was taken from me suddenly. Took him in to check something out, and I got a call from the vet, they had just put down the most incredible soul I’d ever met. And I didn’t get to be there. I was there for his first breath and every breath after that, except his last one. I was working, and didn’t think they would put him down without me there. 5 yrs and I still go to pieces thinking about that. Ladiebug, we had to choose her pass over day. One of the hardest days. I’m trying to prepare for Grunt-Grunt, including saving money up so that when the time comes, hopefully I’ll have the money and that will be one less thing for me to stress over.. thank you for the beautiful words and the support. They are appreciated more than you know. I have only my fiance here, no friends to speak of. This makes venues like this so amazing, and people like you so wonderful.-
Dana, thank YOU for sharing your inspiring stories. And your loving spirit :-). Little Grunt-Grunt is very lucky to have such care. I understand how sad and heartbreaking it is to see them fail – my 17 year old is on lots of meds and yesterday I noticed her walk is off a bit, so I’m scheduling yet another doctor appointment. It’s hard, especially because they don’t complain. And you are right about taking the pain in exchange for the love and joys. We know going in that one day we’ll have to part, that they are only “on loan” to us. Keep us updated on how you and Grunt-Grunt are doing. Hugs
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