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Well, it has been a long time since I’ve posted. Life has been hectic to say the least. The last time I posted I had only had my precious Pug Grunt-Grunt for about a year and a half. She was in good health then. In July of 2020 i started to notice that her hind legs started to not working quite right. I took her to the vet, and she acted like it was no big deal. Just watch her and let us know if anything changes. Gee thanks doc! NOT! Well she stayed about the same until November. We had to move during that month and I noticed she was wobbling more, but still motivating good. By Feb of 2021 her wobble was getting more pronounced. I wanted to take her in to the vet, but was unable to due to unexpected bills. This had me spastic with worry that she had degenerative myelopathy. By April of 2021 I had started using a walking sling with her and it helped her a lot. She was able to run around the yard as fast as I could follow her. I started thinking about a wheelchair for her. Then found out that there was no way I could afford to buy her one. I’m on a low fixed income and the prices they want are outrageous. Then by the grace of God I found a charity called High Rollers Club that help dogs get wheelchairs when their hoomans can’t afford one. In July Grunt-Grunt’s chair arrived, and all I had to do was donate what I could afford towards the cost. Mama Cynthia, the lady who runs the charity does everything she can for mainly Pugs, but she doesn’t turn any dog, cat, pig, even a goat away. Grunt-Grunt loved it and took right to it, for regular walks again. Our yard is so small that she didn’t maneuver very easily in it, so we continued to use the sling in the yard. Again my house is too small for her to use her chair inside. When inside we carried her long distance, she weebled and wobbled pretty good if not going too far. In March of 2022 the eye that had been injured before I got her ruptured in the back. The vet had to remove her eye, to the tune of $1,200. Thank God for my mom. If not for her I would have had to put her down! Then I ran a donation campaign on InstaGram and was amazed at the generosity of her followers. They donated over $600 to help pay my mom back. Many of the donations came from other Pugs in the HRC family. I felt honored. I asked the vet again about her legs, and was told that she wasn’t serious yet, and it was possible that she wouldn’t get much worse. I asked about expressing her bladder, and was told it didn’t need to be done yet. She had been having poopy accidents for some time by then, and this was blown off by the vet. She healed quickly from her eye surgery, she had already been blind in that eye since I got her and who knows how long before I got her. She looked darling as my one eyed Pug. Through all of this she was a happy baby. In October of 2022 we had to start feeding her while she sat on her pillow on the couch as she wasn’t stable enough to stand and eat. Then she ate just fine on Dec 24th, but the morning of the 25th she wouldn’t eat, same that night. The 1st 2 meals I didn’t get too upset as she skipped meals once in a while. But then she didn’t eat on the 26th either. Then I got her to eat the morning of the 27th and I relaxed a little because she was still drinking, actually more than usual. I tried to get her in to any vet on the 28th to no avail. I couldn’t afford the $350 just for an emergency appointment. Finally got her in on the 30th. When I brought her in the vet had the audacity to ask me how long she’d been having trouble with her legs!!! I lost it while explaining all the times I’d asked about her legs. I had figured she had DM by now, and was doing everything I could for her. After they did several tests the vet brought me into a little room and before she even said a word I started breaking down bawling. I knew it was really bad news. And it was. she had a horrible infection, (normal wbc count is 20, her’s was 168) As soon as I heard this I completely broke down, I knew what was coming. The vet said that I could put Grunt-Grunt in the emergency hospital for the weekend, at a cost of about $1600 a day, and even then the outcome wasn’t a sure thing. In fact it was doubtful, but I could always try. I couldn’t believe the vets calloused attitude. I had brought my last 2 dogs to her, how could she act like this? They gave me about 10mins to decide what I was going to do. I felt like they were pushing me to get the “deed” done without delay. When the tech brought her into me I lost it and collapsed with her in my arms, and the tech just looked at me. I heard him tell someone that he’d never seen anyone react like that before, what do we do about her? Then nothing. After I got back on my feet and got Grunt-Grunt on the table, laying on her blanket all I could do was hold her and wail in agony. And I didn’t care how loud I was, i as going to lose my baby and I didn’t care who heard me. My mom joined me in the room, and did her best to comfort me, all the while knowing I was inconsolable, she understood. Mom took one last picture of me holding my precious Pug, and they gave her her shot I sang a Irish lullaby to her and as I felt her little body go limp I felt a piece of me die with her, I wrapped her in her favorite blanket and walked through the waiting room cradling my Grunt-Grunt in my arms as every eye in there focused on us, some gave me looks of sympathy, some just stared, a few said “I’m so sorry quietly, and one lady stood up, walked in front of me, she too was in tears, she put her arms around us and sobbed as she said she was sorry and that she too was going to lose her little Frenchie the same day. we found a way to give each other what support we could. In a way only someone in the same situation could understand. And to top it all off the day was cold, windy, rainy, and lots of thunder and lightning. Just a miserable day. Grunt-Grunt made darn sure to have the last word in this situation, and gave me a moment where I was able to let out a quiet laugh/snort. then I heard myself say “Ok, seriously? Just have the last word, ok but did you really have to pee all over me? ” And I told mom to her question, “Yes, she just peed all over me! I almost felt like Grandmother when i peed on her!” I mean I know why she did it, it just hit me in strangely. Kind of like it was her parting action in this physical world. Well, i washed and dried her blankets, i just couldn’t allow her to be laid to rest in soiled wrappings. Unacceptable. I unwrapped her, laid her on her pillow on the couch. I then washed the Pee from her little rump, and washed her blankets by hand and hung them up to dry. During the time she laid on her pillow I’d catch myself reaching over to pet her and for just a second my mind would decide that she was right here, she hadn’t left me. Then reality slams me against the wall reminding me what was happening and I’d relive the moment she let go in excruciating detail. I have so much grief and guilt over her death and my probable part in it. even if I did the very best I could’ve done for her, the guilt is breaking me down. We placed Grunt-Grunt in the corner of my mom’s property on the 31st. The weather was the same as the day before, only the rain had almost quit. I wrapped her up in her little quilt, along with a letter, one of the toys I got her for Christmas, and a few treats. Then I wrapped her in the blanket I gave her, then in another blanket. I had to make sure she was going to be warm because she didn’t like to be cold, and HATED water so I had to protect her. The rain stayed away the rest of the day and night, But on Jan 1st 2023 it rained steadily, really hard. That was driving me nuts because she was in the ground with all the rain, cold and wet. More than once I stood up to go to her grave and stand there holding an umbrella over it. I’ve decorated the grave with flowers, a dragonfly and a headstone I painted for her. I visit every time I go to mom’s. Now for those who don’t know how I got GG, She was going to be put down bc her owner died, she was almost 8, had been used as a breeder, abused, and neglected to the point she lost an eye. But I had just lost Ladiebug 13 days earlier. I wasn’t ready for a new dog, but I couldn’t let her die either. Well about a week after her passing we decided it would be better if we had another baby to love so we went to the rescue, nothing. Then the shelter, and they really didn’t have any dogs in our criteria. We finally looked at this terrified cockapoo, said yes, sort of. I wasn’t feeling it. I called the shelter and told them I couldn’t take her. Then exactly 14 days after GG , the shelter called and said she was finally ready for adoption, and I told them I had already called and said no to the dog. Well my mom decided that we were getting that dog to help me heal. That story is for another day. Thanks for letting me vent. God Bless