• Profile picture of Toni Noel

    Toni Noel posted an update 3 years, 5 months ago

    @angelsdad Hello Steve. Welcome to out caring community. Please tell us about your baby and let us know how you are doing – okay, I hope? Toni

    • Profile picture of Steve
      Steve replied 3 years, 5 months ago
      Hi Toni,
      Our sweetheart was almost 13 years old. She was a rescue. I brought her home when she was a puppy from my workplace. Someone found her in the building hiding under a machine.
      She was diagnosed with mast cell cancer three and one half weeks ago.
      It had to have been more advanced than we thought, for she passed away Sunday morning February 26 at 4:02 am.
      She was spoiled rotten, much loved, and is sorely missed.
      I am not doing so well. I have mixed feelings of grief and guilt. Did we do enough ? I just don’t know. She passed at home with her Mom and me at her side. She was a fighter to the very end and showed no indication of being in any pain.
      Thank you for your kindness and concern.
      • Profile picture of Toni Noel
        Toni Noel replied 3 years, 5 months ago
        This is a powerful story, Steve, and thank you for sharing it with us. I am so very sorry. May I ask her name? It sounds as if she, gratefully, was not in pain, and she didn’t linger long with her illness. Those are good things. Unfortunately, our pets are only “on loan” to us, always for too short a time, but she had a long and loving life with you, didn’t she? Better than living under a machine or on the streets, for sure. It also sounds as if you did everything for her – much as we may want to do more, there is only so much we can do. I question doing too much sometimes – is it really in their best interest, or ours? I am confident you thought only of her needs. It’s hard not to try to find guilt, but it really seems you are not entitled to that feeling. What is bringing you that feeling? She had her journey and ended in loving arms. The grief is real, and deep. It hurts in ways nothing else can. It helps to have your family share that with you, but we each must go through it in our own ways. For me, sleeping with a stuffed animal helped. And being able to talk about feelings with people who really understand and have gone through the process of healing. That’s why we are here – to listen and support you. Please join our monthly group meeting March 16th. We’ll send you an email with the link. In the mean time, stay active with us here and let us know what you are doing to ride this tidal wave of pain. It will ease, but not for awhile. I know everyone here is thinking of you with deep sympathy. Toni