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Jackie posted an update 3 years, 10 months ago
2 minutes ago
💔 A couple weeks ago I had to have my other baby put to sleep. She was in last stages of congestive heart failure and we done did everything there was to do for her. And I have been ate up with guilt. I didn’t tell her goodbye or take a few mins with her b4 they took her back and put her to sleep. And when I brought her home and buried her beside her dad( that I lost last year on 9-10-21) I didn’t even take a min to say anything to her then. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was killing me to have to have her put to sleep and I couldn’t deal with it at the time. And it was selfish of me and I regret it everyday. And I wish I would of took a few moments to tell her goodbye and let her know how much I loved her and was going miss her and that she was not going to have to suffer no more.But I didn’t bc of my own selfish feelings and bc I couldn’t and didn’t want to face it or accept it at the time. And I have been ate up with guilt bc of it. She had no idea what was about to happen and that this time when the vet took her back to examine her that she wasn’t ever going see me again. I was just a regular vet visit to her. I HAVE FELT SO GUILTY AND REGRET SO BADLY EVERYDAY THAT I DIDNT TAKE THE TIME TO TELL HER BYE AND LET HER KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HER & WAS GOING TO MISS HER AND THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING BE OK AND SHE WASNT GOING BE SUFFERING NO MORE AND THAT SHE WAS GOING TO GO SEE and BE WITH HER MAMA AND DADDY AGAIN. AND I WOULD SEE HER SOON. THE GUILT I FEEL FOR NOT DOING THAT IS EATING ME UP. R.I.P.MY baby girl, enjoy ur time with ur other mom and dad. I’m so sorry please forgive me😭
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Oh Jackie, the most loving and kind and generous gift you gave her was release and relief from her suffering. No matter how you parted, she knew you were only acting from love. I totally understand not “saying goodbye” and how that hurts you and makes you feel guilty. Years ago, my Prince was dying and I took him to the vet, and left him. He died overnight. That was over 40 years ago and I still wish I had stayed the night with him. I have said goodbye to many loves and each time, once the “sleepy” medicine is injected, they are already comfortable and at peace, and my loving words and touches are really for me – they are already resting and probably don’t know, sort of like when we are under anesthesia. When I let my Beauty Girl go in February, after the final injection, I kissed her and said “I know you’re not in there anymore” and that is the truth – we’re not in there anymore. No more pain or suffering, just peace. So go ahead and feel guilty if that helps you but I guarantee your baby would be absolutely grateful to you for the life of love and caring you shared, and only wants you to be happy for that. Saying goodbye is horribly painful for us, but how loving of you to give her release. I hope you will grant yourself the same kindness of knowing the final act of kindness is letting go, accepting the love you shared for the time you were gifted. No one here would ever join you in your guilt, only support for what you had to do from a position of love. And for sure your baby knew, and knows, you LOVE her and always will. Please, let us know each day how you are coming along – we’ll go through this with you, Jackie. Here is a big {{HUG}} I hope brings you a bit of comfort. Toni -
Jackie, how are you doing now? Toni
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I’m doing a lil better. I have rescued a new dog but everytime I think about my lil tookie I still break down and cry I miss her so much
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