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Dianne Kurtz posted an update 4 years, 9 months ago
I am numb.I am at a loss of everything right now.I feel very sick.
I feel really GUILTY about not looking for mama cat.I actually thought she was inside with Oscar.I feel so lost without her.She would have been 15 years old next April.-
Oh Dianne. She seemed to want to go outside lately, didn’t she? I wonder if she was so unwell, she wanted “out” literally. Yes, you feel guilty but I truly think that’s not true. I’ll share my story to tell you why I think you didn’t have a choice about it for her: My kitten Nicki never wanted to go outside. I had to pick her up and take her. One night my cat Chivo came in the sliding doors and Nicki jumped over her to get out – it was very strange for her to do. After awhile, when Nicki didn’t come in, I sent Chivo to look for her and Chivo came back and I knew, just knew, that Nicki had been hit and killed by a car. Guilt is a huge part of what we feel, but I really think Nicki was somehow compelled to go out. That may sound odd, but she NEVER went out on her own, and to jump over Chivo (who was her adopted mother) was way out of character. So, I’m not sure we have the control over their actions as much as we would like. Of course I am, and we all are, just devastated for you, and her. I know how you have worried each moment about her health challenges. I am so sad and sorry, and I hope you will allow yourself to grieve with kindness for yourself, and that soon you will find happiness with the memories you made together. Toni-
Toni,Mama George has never wanted outside.Until the last week.She got out once.Then we were all sitting in the house and nobody noticed she got out.But I think she knew she was ready to go “home”.My heart is broken.-
Of course, Dianne. I think you are right. She seemed ready. We never are. {HUGS}
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