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Christina, I know. Twice in the past two months I thought I was losing my baby and that’s exactly what happened – I just could not stop crying. Tears are scientifically cleansing: tears of happiness have different chemicals than tears of grief. So keep crying, Christina. One day you will have a smile before a tear, then more smiles as you remember the wonderfulness of life with Gibson. Please, let us know how you are doing, I mean it when I ask that – I want to know how you are doing, and when you find the first smile. Toni
Good Evening Toni,
Thank You so much for your much needed words. I am still not able to say Gibson’s name without crying. Just saying this to you and saying his name is causing me to cry. I pray to God daily and ask for Him to take away the pain I have in my heart over the passing of my sweet baby Gibson.
Thank you for your encouraging words. It means alot to me. I would like to be your friend. Maybe one day we could meet for lunch or something. I’ve been told I need to forget and pack up all his thing’s but I just can’t, not yet. When I do thing’s around the house ( cleaning it reminds me of how he barked and played with the vacuum ) and other things as well. I’m by myself. I’m divorced after 32 yrs. My 2 boy’s are grown and gone. The loss of my Gibson just doesn’t feel like it’s ever going to get better.
Oh god, the vacuum…it’s the little. daily things that trip you up, isn’t it? Well, let’s go straight through these reminders. Let’s cry and quiver in puddles on the floor. Don’t get rid of anything. Pick them up and sob. Then try to get some sleep from the physical and emotional exhaustion. Then, Christina, some day, some time, you will look at the damned vacuum or a toy, and smile. Tears may follow, probably will, but the happy love will super cede the pangs of loss. Then, bit by bit, I think you will find the joy of the life you shared coming back and comforting you. It takes time, and I really think, going straight through the pain, to find the other side of that coin. Don’t “buck up”, or think you should be anything other than what you are – heartbroken. You will tap back into the wonderfulness of Gibson. I am right here for, and with, you. Toni